Sex
by Heldottir
Summary: A series of one shots all based on one premise, sex. Chapter 1 is TonyxAlfred, Chapter 2 is weirder still with Canada/kumajiro. You've been warned.
1. Chapter 1

Alfred lounged comfortably on one of his many couches, dazing in and out of sleep, and trying to keep cool. Outside was the dead of one of the hottest summers in US history, and inside the house, the air conditioner was broken, and America slowly was melting into the furniture. Alfred had already tired visiting someone else's house until the heat wave was over, but after a little drinking that bastard England suddenly kicked him out. Alfred arrived home just in time to see his beloved air conditioner, the only thing keeping him from the stifling heat take its last, dying breath. Hell, he would even visit that bastard Ivan's house at this point, if only the son of a bitch would pick up the god damn phone.

"Hey there stupid." The garbled, angry voice suddenly pulled Alfred back to full consciousness. "I'd ask what you're thinking about, but I know you don't think."

"Hi Tony!" Alfred smiled perking up slightly. Any distraction was a good distraction. "You want to hang out?"

Tony looked quizzically up at Alfred for a moment with big glassy eyes before finally answering, "I have experiments."

"Can I come?" Alfred asked, not willing to give up.

"Funk you stupid. I wasn't planning on doing that experiment for another two weeks."

"What do you mean? I mean that sounds kinda…"

"But I guess I might as well. Ok, fallow me fuck-tard." Tony sighed, turning around and waking out of the living room without another glance.

Alfred weighed his options quickly, on the one hand the thing that Tony said about experiments, that sounded a little… But on the other hand what was he going to do if he didn't fallow? Go back to laying on the couch and thinking about the heat which made it hotter? With a heavy sigh Alfred chose the more interesting route. Better to do something kind of weird than do nothing at all right?

He moved out of the living room and down the hallway he'd seen Tony stride down. He found him loitering near the back door. "Ok, so were are we going?"

Tony smiled and pulled out a shiny tazer and quickly pointed it at his unsuspecting room mate.

"Hey," Alfred hissed, "hold on a minute! This isn't funny you know."

Before Alfred could continue Tony pushed the button and sent the ready electrode shooting into the self proclaimed hero. Alfred felt his muscles tighten and slack uncontrollably, and a sharp, burning pain running through his body for what felt like forever before everything went black.

…………………….

The instant Alfred opened his eyes he knew something was wrong. He was laying completely nude on a cool metal table, and an impossibly bright light was shining directly above him, effectively blinding him. There was some sort of bit in his mouth that was holding it wide open and keeping him from moving it, and when he tried to take it out he found his hands and feet tightly bound. Desperate, and still dazed he began thrashing in an attempt to get free. Not surprisingly it did absolutely nothing.

"Shut up stupid." Tony growled in his usual tone.

Alfred tired to answer, tried to ask what the hell was going on, but the bit in his mouth made every word an incoherent mumble which Tony effectively ignored.

Seemingly content with the fact that Alfred had settled down Tony went to work. First he checked the man's body for any differences or defects. He started with the mouth, running his fingers over Alfred's teeth and gums, grabbing and pulling slightly at his slick red tongue. When he satisfied with the mouth his quick, long fingers began to move downward, thoroughly touching every inch of exposed flesh.

Tony ran his fingers around Alfred's neck and torso with a feather light touch that made him moan despite himself. He explored America's legs and hips in a way that made the man shuddered. And he casually teased his dick, balls, and ass until he was hard despite the situation.

And then, without warning, Tony slid one of his long probing fingers inside of Alfred's body and began working the small hole it had entered. Alfred hissed as he felt himself being widened. When another finger slid in next to the first, and the two began to scissor apart Alfred bucked his hips in an attempt to get away from the invading fingers which only succeeded in widening himself even further.

With his free hand Tony reached for the first of his probes, a thin, long, malleable, hallow tube filled with hundreds of thin wires that was connected to a large threatening looking machine. He slowly positioned outside of the growing hole that his fingers were still working. And then, with a surgeons precision, he pulled his fingers out of Alfred, at the same time replacing it with the tube before Alfred's ass had a chance to readjust its self. Alfred's only response was a kneading whine. Tony continued to slide the length of the tube into America until the angry looking machine it was attached to rested on the table between Alfred's exposed legs. And then with out so much as few seconds to allow the country time to adjust itself Tony began to push buttons on the machine.

Alfred felt a gentle heat instantly begin to pool in his stomach as the wires inside the probe began to heat up. Tony pushed another series of buttons and the probe inside of him began to vibrate. Alfred moaned and bucked his hips as the probe quickly made the transition from uncomfortable to pleasurable. His cheeks grew hot and flushed, his breath quickened and his already hard dick began twitching, suddenly begging for the same attention that other parts of Alfred's body was getting. As Alfred gasped and moaned on the table Tony grabbed for the next in his large line of probes.

Alfred looked up in time to see tony walking up to him with thin plastic tubing which he commenced to slide around the head of his throbbing dick. The fit was so tight that Alfred nearly came the moment it was forced onto him. Then once that was securely fashoned Tony tightly wrapped a purple sleeve around the remainder of his dick. And, no sooner had Tony finished than the new devices began to vibrate as well. Alfred groaned and, with a few more bucks of his hips, he came. The tube fastened to the head of his penis began to suck the white liquid up the tub and into a connected vile. Alfred's body twitched uncontrollably, as he continued to cum. And when, what felt like an eternity later, he finally stopped, and the waves of pleasure faded away one by one, America allowed himself to black out and fade into unconsciousness.

……………………………..

Alfred woke up so suddenly that he fell of the couch with a loud thud. "What the hell was that?!" He gasped looking around. "Man, I guess the heat is getting to me more than I thought."

"Hey there stupid." Tony greeted, walking into the room. "What the fucks wrong with you?"

"Nothing… just bad dreams." Alfred answered slowly, trying to convince himself that that was all it was.

………………………………..

Ok, I know. It's really weird. But it's been stuck in my head for like a month. If anyone likes this, I'll write more chapters. That is to say chapters that are completely different stories. Um… I'm sure this isn't making sense. Ok, this could be one one-shot, or a series of one shots. There.

So if you're interested please review, and if you have any ideas for another pairing, please let me know. Even it's weird because I mean come on, TonyxAlfred. The pairing I refuse to right is ChinaxRussia. I just don't like it.


	2. Chapter 2

This chapter is made at reader's request, so I really hope you guys like it! Sorry it took me so very long to write this but… well… my computer died and now I have to resort to stealing other peoples.

So many thanks to everyone who reviewed! I'll try to get threw everyone's suggestions! Hope you like!!!!

* * *

Mathew moaned softly in his sleep. This morning he'd had a meeting with… him. And no matter what he did, he knew that the dreams were inevitable. This, need had been growing in Canada for a while now, and like clockwork, the night after their meetings, he would always have these dreams. He would always moan his name between clenched teeth, always arch his back against the mattress, and always rub his hardening cock between the sheets, dreaming about the man who noticed him.

"Please, one more time, say it one more time." Mathew sighted to the other man in his dreams.

"Mathew. You are Mathew Williams, the great and… huge," the other man chuckled, teasing his lover's dick playfully, "country of Canada."

With that, the other man wrapped his lips tenderly around Mathew's begging penis, and began to suck, at the same time bobbing his head up and down, slowly, not wanting to rush the moment.

The sleeping man shuddered and arched violently upward, knocking the covers off in the possess, and exposing his naked body to the chill of the Canadian night air. His violent movement quickly disturbed his sleeping partner, a small, fluffy white bear who was unceremoniously flung off of the foot of the bed where he had been resting and distributed onto the cold, hard floor.

In his dreams, Canada's partner released his cock with an audible pop as the suction his mouth had created broke. After looking lovingly into Mattie's eyes he leaned back down and began to lick the dick in front of him as if it were a lollipop.

Canada started at the change of pace, and, still unconscious, reached for his member. He gasped when, instead of reaching his target, his hand collided with something warm and fuzzy. The shock was enough to bring the young country back to consciousness. His eyes slowly fluttered open and glanced down at the offending spot. At which point he realized two things very quickly, the first was that the sensation of being licked was still there, even as the haze of sleep was melting away, the second was that, without his glasses he could see very little. Took him more than a few seconds of serious squinting to see the outline of the fuzzy warm thing, and another heartbeat or so to realize what that outline was.

"K-kumajiro?!" Canada asked in utter shock.

The pet's response was to take the full length of Mattie's dick in his mouth in one smooth movement. The country hissed with the sudden pleasure. "Nuhhh… oh... that feels," He moaned despite himself. "N-no Kumajiro, you shouldn't." He protested weekly and without making any real effort to stop his pet.

Kumajiro's answer was to pull back and start swirling his tongue around the tip of Mattie's penis. The little bear explored every inch of his master's organ, the tip of his somewhat rough tongue even venturing into the slit at the top of Mattie's dick, which sent burning hot bolts of lightning up and down his owner's spine. After what seemed lick and eternity of this, Kumajiro suddenly seemed to chance his mind and quickly, almost greedily swallowed his treat for a second time.

The sudden all encompassing wetness and warmth was almost enough to send Canada over the edge, but, somehow, the Nation was able to hold on. Meanwhile, Kumajiro continued his work, wound his tongue around his prize, and began to bob his head up and down, moving slowly at first, but quickly picking up speed. His vicious teeth tentatively brushed against Mattie, never hurting him, but only reminding him that they were there. The hint of danger only increased the ecstasy.

As the movement continued, the speed picked up, going faster and faster until Canada was dizzy with pleasure. But still he managed to hold on, until Kumajiro's front paws began to, ever so gently, kneed at Mattie's balls, which were now tight, and extremely sensitive.

At last Mattie could hold on no longer. He arched his back as high as it would go, and came. The ecstasy seemed to last forever, and he could only barely feel his hips bucking, again and again, deeper into his pet's mouth. When the torrent of pleasure finally stopped and his body collapsed into sleepy afterglow, he glanced down at his pet lovingly, "Kumajiro, th-that was…"

The bear, who had gone back to his place at the foot of the bed looked up at his master quizzically, "Who are you?"

"What?" Canada stuttered in utter shock, "You mean you don't know who I am after all that?!"

"Well, who ever you are, can you please shut up now? I'm trying to sleep."

……………………………………

Well there you have it! This was really fun to write! But I kinda feel sorry for Canada now… Oh well, I wont remember him in a few minutes anyways. I wonder if, during sex, his partners have ever just sort of forgotten who he is in the middle of it?

Oh well… So please review! I'm sorry if it was too short, but I couldn't think of anything else to say in this one.

I'd love to hear more suggestions from you guys, they're really interesting and a lot of fun to write! Oh, but just remember, I won't do Russia, China. It's just so… bleh! It's all about Russia America, Russia Liet, hell even Russia Belarus or Russia Poland (man is Russia shippable….)

Thanks for reading!


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